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Where Should I Take A Girl On a First Date? Online Dating Advice For Men
This is one of the most common questions I get from guys. They think that the first date has to be all perfect and fancy, otherwise she won’t be impressed.
So you see guys picking girls up from their house in their new expensive Mercedes, presenting them with a bunch of red roses, and smoothly transporting them to a ridiculously posh restaurant where they proceed to try and blow the girl away with the finest 7 course meal that money can buy.
They then spend half the night posturing by sniffing the wine, clicking their fingers at the waiter and showing off their incredible knowledge of haute cuisine.
Meanwhile she is bored out of her tree, and checking her watch every 10 seconds.
What these guys have to understand is that the date venue is largely unimportant – it’s the vibe that you have between you. Do you have a fun, flirty, banter filled vibe? Or is the conversation filled with very dull, formulaic ‘what do you do?’ type questions? Is it exciting and unpredictable, or yawn-filled and obvious? Is it likely she has been on 100 dates with guys asking her the same set of questions that she is forced to answer like some kind of interview situation?
You have to focus on giving her something different – not on impressing her. Every guy wants to impress her with his money, abs, knowledge, intelligence…etc. All she really wants is to have fun and feel connected to you. That’s it – if she feels that way, you don’t need to spend a penny on her.
In fact I rarely spend a lot of money on first dates. My usual venue is a quiet, laid back lounge bar, where there is some background music so that it’s not too quiet, but not so loud that it becomes intrusive to the conversation and difficult to hear what you are both saying.
Then I get us a couple of drinks from the bar, and find a quiet, secluded spot to sit in – a sofa in the corner is ideal. If you sit at a table, try and sit next to her (a round table with 4 chairs is ideal – you can easily sit next to her, without invading her personal space too much in the beginning). The idea is you are close enough to touch her, and build up a connection, to the point where you kiss later.
If you are sat directly across from her, it’s too far away and feels more like some kind of business meeting.
Then simply concentrate on building a banter filled, fun-filled vibe. Don’t try too hard to make jokes all the time – you don’t want to be a clown – but for most guys this isn’t a problem. For most guys the problem is coming across as being too ‘nice’ or too boring.
I will write more about how to create this vibe in future posts (it’s also on my website), but for now, just keep this in mind as a general idea.
The other good thing about this venue is there is very little pressure. If you go for an expensive meal and you discover you don’t have a lot to say to each other during the appetizer, the next 6 courses might be a touch awkward! Doing it this way keep the pressure low – in fact you can even say ‘let’s meet for a drink in bar x. No big deal – just see how we get on. If it turns out we hate each other after 10 minutes, then we can call it a night!’
This puts much less pressure on her – which means she is much likely to accept your date invitation, and much less likely to flake on you.
So in future, as a general rule – keep your first dates low key, and low pressure.
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